We have all heard that as a mom, you have to wait to enjoy anything outside your family…but why? They say, “Wait until they’re sleeping through the night. Wait until they’re in school. Wait until they’re independent.” Where did this ‘rule’ come from? If I wait, I will be almost 60…I’m not waiting anymore.

Ever since I had my first child, I had this burning desire to create some type of business to help other SAHMs. I was frustrated at the fact that I was completely lost as a new mom. I was crying every night to nurse my daughter, and I couldn’t get it right. I had a belly that wasn’t going down because of weak stomach muscles, not fat. I had painful hemorrhoids. All of this while trying to care for a tiny, delicate human. But here’s the thing with rock bottom: it gives you clarity.

Instead of completely thinking this was an isolated problem to me…I knew I wasn’t alone in this suffering, which ignited something new in me…entrepreneur me!

But I kept having that ‘rule’ in my mind, saying I can’t have both. I have to just be a mom until my daughter doesn’t need me anymore. Okay, I guess I can wait. Except that 5 other siblings came after, and I decided to homeschool when she was 2 years old.

For 12 years, I held on to this dream while everyone told me that I needed to wait. Call me crazy, but I believe you can be a homeschool mom/stay-at-home mom and run a lucrative digital business!!

When Others Refused to Wait

I’ve learned that waiting for the perfect time is a trap! No one’s life is ever completely in an ideal situation. You fix one problem, and then another problem arises. There are many people who we see are successful now, but it only came by them working in not so beautiful situation.

Sylvester Stallone wrote the Rocky movie in 3 days, but was turned down by 600 to 1,000 filmmakers because he wanted to play the lead part in the movie. To add to the frustration, he was living in poverty to the point of him having to sell his dog so he could eat! Yet he didn’t give up until he was able to produce the movie and play the lead role.

And then there’s Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Makeup Company. Mary Kay Ash was a single mom who kept being overlooked in her sales position in the corporate world. She finally quit when a man she trained got promoted above her. She decided to write a book to help other women in sales and then later launch a business with her son.

These stories are not random happenings but proof. Both examples prove that, as a stay-at-home mom, you can have your passions and raise children.

Yet somehow, when it comes to a stay-at-home mom, we hear a different story. Is it because no one figured out a way? Or is it because little to no stay-at-home mom is brave enough to keep trying? I know because I was one of them.

The Guilt That Kept Me Stuck

In the past, I stopped many times out of guilt that I was letting my children and husband down somehow. My confidence came from my family being happy with me. But out of ignorance of my children and husband, they didn’t know that I wanted to do something more until I told them

need to do activities that don’t involve the house or family. It is beneficial that your children see you being passionate about life. Our children must understand that in a loving family, they need to support each other’s passions.

And I realized something else. That I’m being selfish by not creating businesses because I have products and ideas that will help people in their lives. So maybe think to yourself, what am I holding back from the world?

Starting Small, Dreaming Big

So I made a decision to give myself my first challenge: To make $500 monthly. This can’t bring my husband home from working, but it can help with paying a bill. My thought process is to see this as stepping stones on a journey to be me!

I’m documenting the whole journey, the fails, wins, and the complete reality of building a business while homeschooling 6 kids. Maybe we don’t have to wait until our kids are older to start a business. But maybe we can start something right now! See you next time for updates.

For the first four years of being a stay-at-home mom, I never had a written-out routine.

I just... winged it. Day by day. Maybe I’d think the night before about whether we’d go to the park or not, but mostly? Things just happened, however they happened.

And honestly, when you only have two kids under two, you can kind of get away with that.

But then I got pregnant with my third. My oldest was three and about to start “homeschool preschool.” And suddenly, winging it wasn’t cutting it anymore. The house was a mess. I was exhausted. I couldn’t keep up with the cleaning.

So I did what most moms do: I looked for help.

Now, 11 years as a stay-at-home mom and 6 kids later, I understand how important a routine is to keeping our household running.

But here’s the thing, when I first started building routines, I made three major mistakes that caused me even more stress than having no routine at all.

I’m sharing these with you today because I don’t want you to go through the same overwhelm I did. These mistakes are exactly why I created the 5-Day Routine Challenge. So you can skip the frustration and build a routine that actually works from the start.

Mistake #1: I Copied Another Mom’s Routine

When I finally decided to create a routine, I did what felt natural: I got on YouTube and watched other stay-at-home moms.

I found one mom in particular who had everything laid out. She was so organized. Her life looked perfect. Her routine was detailed, pretty, and functional.

So I thought, “Perfect! I’ll just do exactly what she does.”

And I failed within a week.

When her perfect routine became my nightmare

Her routine had her waking up at 5 am, before her kids, to clean and get a head start on breakfast.

Turns out, waking up at 5am before my kids was impossible for me. When I did manage to drag myself out of bed, they’d wake up early too. So now we were all exhausted, me because I’d barely slept, them because they didn’t get the full rest they needed.

I wasn’t getting ahead. I was just tired and frustrated.

What I missed about her “perfect” life

Here’s what I didn’t understand at the time: Her life wasn’t my life.

The number of kids you have matters. Their ages matter. Whether your spouse is home in the mornings or already at work, it all matters.

I was trying to force a routine designed for someone else’s family onto mine. And it just didn’t fit.

The truth that changed everything

You can absolutely get inspiration from other moms. In fact, I encourage it! Seeing what works for others can spark ideas.

But you can’t just copy-paste someone else’s routine and expect it to work for you.

Your routine needs to be built around your family’s reality, not someone else’s highlight reel.

Mistake #2: I Made an Hourly Schedule

Okay, so after I realized copying someone else wasn’t working, I decided to create my own routine from scratch.

Great idea, right?

Except I made it an hourly schedule.

7am: Wake up
8am: Breakfast
9am: Clean kitchen
10am: Educational activity with kids
11am: Snack time

And so on.

I was so proud of it. It looked organized, like I had my life together.

But it made me even more stressed than before.

I felt like a failure every single day

When you have babies and toddlers, every day is unpredictable. Some mornings your baby wakes up at 6am. Other mornings it’s 8am. Some days your toddler is cooperative. Other days, your toddler is melting down over the wrong color cup.

I found myself constantly racing against the clock, trying to hit each time marker. And when we inevitably fell behind (which was every single day), I felt like a failure.

I was always impatient. And began snapping at my kids to hurry up.

The flaw in my perfect plan

I was trying to control something that couldn’t be controlled. Young kids don’t care about your schedule. They don’t understand time. They’re just trying to be kids.

And the more I tried to force them into rigid time slots, the more we all suffered.

What actually works with young kids

Hourly schedules create stress, not structure.

What I needed and what eventually changed everything was a block schedule instead.

Instead of “9am: Clean kitchen,” it became “Morning block (7am-10am): Breakfast, get dressed, tidy up.”

This gave me the structure I needed without the pressure of hitting exact times. If breakfast ran long, that was okay. If we got dressed quickly, great. We still had the same goals, but with breathing room.

Flexibility within structure that’s what actually works with young kids.

Mistake #3: I Was Too Rigid (And Didn’t Plan for Real Life)

Even after I switched to a block schedule, I still struggled. Because I made another mistake: I was too rigid.

I crammed too many tasks into each block. I didn’t account for interruptions. And I definitely didn’t plan for the reality that some days just wouldn’t go according to plan.

3 Days of planning, gone in 1 Week

A few weeks ago, I spent three days creating a brand-new routine. I was so proud of it. It was organized, realistic, and customized for our family.

Within 3 days, it completely fell apart.

Not because I did anything wrong. Not because I wasn’t following it.

But everyone in the house got sick.

One by one, each of my six kids came down with something. Then my husband got really sick. Then I started feeling symptoms too.

And suddenly? The routine didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

What I forgot to plan for

I had built a routine for perfect conditions. I hadn’t accounted for sickness, bad days, unexpected appointments, or just plain exhaustion.

In my earlier stay-at-home mom years, I operated with an “all or nothing” mindset. This situation would have made me feel like the whole routine was pointless.

What a good routine actually looks like

Life happens. Kids get sick. Plans change. Some days are just hard.

And that’s not a failure. That’s just reality.

The goal isn’t to create a routine you can follow perfectly every single day. The goal is to have a flexible framework that guides your day but doesn’t control you.

Some days you’ll nail it. Other days, you’ll barely hit the basics. Both are okay.

A good routine bends without breaking.

Why I Created the 5-Day Routine Challenge

After making all these mistakes, I finally figured out what actually works.

And I don’t want you to waste years like I did, spinning your wheels and feeling more stressed.

That’s why I created the 5-Day Routine Challenge.

It’s designed to help you avoid the mistakes I made and build a routine that actually fits your life from the start.

Here’s what makes it different:

✅ It’s customized to your family’s reality
✅ Structure without stress
✅ Accounts for real life
✅ Takes just 5 minutes a day to complete the daily challenges

Building a routine that works takes trial and error. But by learning from my mistakes, you will build something that works right from the start.

By the end of the week, you’ll have a routine that actually helps instead of adding more stress.

Ready to build a routine that works for YOUR life? Learn about it in this post below!

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There I was, crying in the bathroom with the door locked.

I could hear my small kids on the other side of the door. My 3-year-old, 1-year-old, and newborn wondering where mommy went. But I couldn’t open that door. I felt like I needed to escape, but there was nowhere to go.

We had just moved for the third time in three years. I was drowning.

I was so embarrassed when I finally called my husband and told him to come home immediately.

Have you ever felt like this? Those low, desperate moments where you wonder, “Is it supposed to be this hard? What’s wrong with me?”

Here’s the thing: most people don’t understand why stay-at-home moms burn out. They think we’re “just at home all day.” They don’t get it because they’ve never lived it.

But after 6 kids and 11 years of experience (so far), I’ve finally figured out the real reasons so many of us, stay-at-home moms, feel overwhelmed. And they’re not what most people think.

I’m sharing three of them with you today, along with solutions.

Reason #1: Your Entire Day Is Consumed By Kids and Home

There’s this wave of “tradwife” content online right now. Beautiful women in aprons cooking from scratch homemade meals, joyfully folding laundry, and acting like every moment of domestic life is pure bliss.

And if that’s not you? It’s easy to feel like a failure.

But here’s the truth: you didn’t become a stay-at-home mom because you love doing dishes.

You stayed home to be with your baby. To be present. To not miss those early years.

Sure, you knew housework was part of the deal. But you didn’t realize:

• How much time it takes

• How repetitive and draining it would feel

• How little fulfillment you’d get from wiping the same counter for the 47th time that day

And when you spend your entire day doing things that don’t light you up? That lack of fulfillment starts to eat away at you. It leads straight to burnout.

What I Realized During My Rock Bottom

During that low point in my own journey (after my kids and I moved back in with my mom), I had time to reflect. And I realized something important:

I hadn’t lost myself. I never really knew myself to begin with.

I thought my identity was my career. So being a stay-at-home mom felt like it was pulling me away from “me.” That’s why it felt so miserable.

Maybe you’re feeling the same way. You don’t have a clear passion for what you’re doing every day. You can’t see the purpose in it. And that disconnection is draining you.

The Solution: Start Dreaming Again

When my kids were small, I didn’t have outside help. I couldn’t just disappear for hours to “find myself.”

So instead, I read books. I researched. I started dreaming again about what I wanted my life to look like one day.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• What did you love doing before kids?

• Is there a new interest or skill that would actually make your housework easier or more enjoyable?

• What did you do for fun as a child? (This one unlocks things you forgot you loved.)

You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just start asking the questions. Let yourself dream again.

Reason #2: You Don’t Have a Good Routine

Your days feel chaotic. You’re jumping from one thing to another with no clear direction.

You’re constantly interrupted. By the end of the day, you’re exhausted, but you feel like you accomplished nothing.

Sound familiar?

This was my life before I built a routine. And it led to serious burnout because I was trying to do everything at the same time. My brain was scattered. I had a dozen unfinished projects haunting me.

The Solution: Create a Simple Routine

I know “create a routine” sounds like generic advice. But hear me out, it doesn’t have to be complicated.

You don’t need a color-coded schedule with time blocks down to the minute. You just need some structure so your brain isn’t in constant decision-making mode.

Quick tips to get started:

• Set only 1 priority for each day. Example: Today’s priority is laundry. Everything else is a bonus.

• Brain dump when you feel overwhelmed. Write down every single thing bouncing around in your head. And save your list for a day and time when you can focus on the list.

• Use a timer. Set it for 10-15 minutes and clean. When it goes off, you can play with your kids. This gives you boundaries and helps you be present.

If you want a step-by-step guide to building your routine, I created a 5-Day Routine Challenge that walks you through it—just 5 minutes a day. It’ll give you a solid starting point.

Reason #3: You Were Never Taught How to Be a Mom

Has your mom or any older woman in your life ever sat you down and taught you how to actually do this?

Yeah, me neither.

Being a stay-at-home mom is like having on-the-job training with no manager, handbook, and training period. You’re just thrown into it and expected to figure it out.

And yet somehow, society acts like motherhood is supposed to come naturally. Like you should just know how to handle tantrums, sleepless nights, sibling fights, meal planning, developmental milestones, and all while maintaining your sanity.

No wonder you’re burnt out.

You’re learning and doing at the same time. And that’s exhausting.

The Solution: Find a Mom Mentor (and Read Books)

Find a mom who seems to have it together, not perfect, but steady, and learn from her. Watch how she interacts with her kids. Ask her questions. Let her normalize the hard parts.

Read books on parenting, but don’t follow them blindly. Take what makes sense for your kids and your personality. Leave the rest.

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You just need to find people who are a few steps ahead of you and learn from their experience.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Just Missing the Right Support.

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for this.

It means you need:

• More than just “mom” and “housekeeper” in your identity

• A routine that gives your day structure (not rigidity)

• Support and wisdom from people who’ve been where you are

The goal of the SAHM Playbook is to help you feel less burnt out, lonely, and worthless by giving you systems that actually work. So you can be present with your kids and still have time for yourself.

Because you deserve a life you actually enjoy. Not just one you’re getting through.

What are you supposed to do all day with your toddler?

I remember feeling this exact way when I had two under two. Library storytime was great... the first dozen times. The park was fun... until you’ve been to every park in a 10-mile radius twice. After a while, the same rotation starts to feel mind-numbingly mundane.

So I thought, “Maybe I should start teaching them something?” But I had no idea where to start. What does preschool even look like at home? Do I need workbooks? A curriculum? Am I qualified to do this?

Fast forward to now, I’m 11 years into this stay-at-home mom life, homeschooling 6 kids with toddlers still in the mix. And here’s what I’ve learned: doing preschool at home is way simpler (and more fun) than you think.

You don’t need money or fancy materials. You definitely don’t need to turn into a teacher.

Here are three easy ways to start preschool at home this week—maybe even today.

1. Start With Your Child’s Interests

This is hands-down the most important thing for these ages.

Just today, my four-year-old and I were playing with some old diaper boxes. I suggested we make a car, and then casually asked, “Can you count these boxes?”

His response? “Ugh, I don’t want to do school.”

Busted. He saw right through me.

After noticing him stepping into the boxes, I said, “Okay, as you step into the box, I’ll count?” Suddenly, he was stepping into boxes, my two-year-old was sitting in them, and we were all counting together. That small tweak made counting less school-like again.

Here’s the kicker: later that evening, he grabbed the TV remote, sat next to me, and said, “I want to count the buttons on this remote.”

So we counted. Then he asked what each button was for. That silly little moment? Was learning too.

Why This Works

Your toddler doesn’t care about arbitrary learning goals. They care about things that are useful or interesting to them.

Think about it this way: if I put you in a classroom to learn about a subject you absolutely hate, you’d be bored out of your mind. But if someone said, “I’m going to show you how to make a million dollars in one hour,” you’d sit in the front row taking notes.

Your preschooler is the same way.

That’s why the kitchen is so fascinating to him. He knows tasty food comes from there, and he wants to learn to make meals for himself.

Whatever you’re teaching, make sure it connects to something they already care about.

2. Have Fun and Add Variety

Preschool doesn’t have to look like worksheets and flashcards. (Honestly, it probably shouldn’t.)

Think: art, nature walks, building things, pretend play, music, exploring textures, making messes.

One day, you can teach about animals. The next day, you’re looking at different types of trees. Then maybe you’re naming car parts or sorting buttons by color. Kids this age love learning. They’re naturally curious about everything.

The only time they’ll shut down is when it becomes dry, repetitive, or forced.

Keep it playful. Keep it varied. Keep it interesting.

You might be thinking, wouldn’t all this random learning get scrambled in my preschoolers’ heads? Well, the short answer is no.

As a baby, all humans initially learn in a random state; it’s only until formal education comes that everything is divided into subjects.

A human brain’s learning works somewhat like a highway system. The more paths your brain has, the more established that information becomes. As humans, we are able to create our own connections between subjects, which is the learning part.

3. Take Care of Their Basic Needs First

This one sounds obvious, but it’s easy to forget when you’re trying to “do preschool.”

Before you try to teach your toddler anything, ask yourself:

• Did he get enough sleep last night?

• Does he still need a nap today?

• Is she getting a reasonably balanced diet—not just sweets all day?

• Has she had a chance to move her body and get some fresh air?

I’m not talking about making your child run laps around the backyard. Some kids are naturally high-energy movers. Others are more explorers and observers. Both are fine.

But if your toddler hasn’t been outside, eaten real food, and is tired? Good luck getting her to focus on colors, letters, or counting.

Meet your child’s physical needs first. Then the learning happens naturally.

What a Real Preschool Day Actually Looks Like

Okay, so you might be thinking, “This all sounds great, but what does this actually look like in practice?”

Let me share what our preschool days looked like when I was pregnant with my fourth child and had three kids under four years old. (Yes, you read that right. Three under four. It was... a lot.)

Our Simple Preschool Routine

Morning: After breakfast, we’d head to a local park. Just swings, slides, fresh air, and a chance for them to burn energy.

Midday: We’d come home around lunchtime (or sometimes I’d pack a lunch and we’d eat at the park).

After lunch: This was my favorite part. I’d grab a stack of library books, and we’d all snuggle together on my king-size bed or pile onto the couch. I’d read aloud while they settled down.

This naturally led to naptime. (Thank goodness.)

Afternoon: As each child woke up from their nap, I’d give them a simple snack, like banana slices, apple chunks, nuts, whatever was easy.

Then we’d do a little “focused learning” time. I had a small easel set up, and we’d work on letter sounds or counting. Nothing long, maybe 10-15 minutes.

Late afternoon: This was our “messy learning” time.

Some days I’d take them into the backyard for nature play. They would play with beans, water, and little containers to pour and scoop. Other days, we’d stay inside, and they’d freely paint pictures. And that was it. That was our preschool day.

The Three Key Components of a Good Preschool Day

Looking back, I realize our days always included these three things:

1. Outside play – Fresh air, movement, exploration
2. Messy play – Sensory experiences, creativity, hands-on learning
3. Focused learning time – Letters, numbers, colors, shapes (but kept short and playful)

And here’s the beautiful thing: these three components can be done in so many different ways.

You don’t need my exact routine. But if you can hit those three things most days, you’re doing preschool at home.

That’s It. That’s Preschool at Home.

You don’t need to have a perfectly curated Instagram-worthy learning space or curriculum.

You just need to:

• Follow their interests

• Keep it fun and varied

• Make sure they’re fed, rested, and not glued to a screen

Start this week. Start today, even.

And if you want more in-depth ideas on what preschool at home can actually look like day-to-day, I’ll be sharing more about that soon.

You’ve got this. Your toddler is learning more than you think, even on the days that feel boring or chaotic. Trust yourself.

You love being home with your kids. But you’re also exhausted, going through the motions, and wondering if there’s a better way.

I get it.

But somewhere between the morning chaos and bedtime routine, you lost yourself in the daily grind. You feel too tired to work out, too drained to meal plan, and have no idea where to even start.

And the advice you get? “Just push through it.” “You have to buckle down.” “It gets easier when they’re older.”

But what if you didn’t have to wait years for it to get easier?

What if the problem isn’t that you’re not trying “hard enough”? Instead, you don’t have a routine that actually works for YOUR life?

Here’s What I’ve Learned After 11 Years and 6 Kids:

You don’t need to push harder. You need to work smarter.

The difference between drowning in your day and actually enjoying it isn’t superhuman energy or waking up at 5am (honestly, who has time for that?).

It’s having a simple, flexible routine that gives your day structure without suffocating you.

When I finally built a routine that fit my real life, everything changed. Not overnight. But gradually, I started to feel like myself again. I had time to breathe. And be present with my kids instead of just surviving until bedtime.

And I want that for you too.

Introducing: The 5-Day Routine Challenge

This isn’t another generic productivity system or someone else’s perfect schedule that you’ll try for three days and abandon.

This is a step-by-step process to build your custom routine in just 5 days.

Here’s what makes it different:

✨ It takes 5 minutes a day (because you don’t have hours to spare)

✨ It starts with what matters to YOU—not what works for someone else

✨ It’s designed for real life—toddlers who don’t nap on schedule, interruptions, chaos and all

✨ By Day 5, you’ll have a working morning routine you can actually use

Yes I need this!

Who This Is For:

This challenge is for you if:

• Feel like you’re in survival mode more often than not

• Tried routines before, but they never stick

• Exhausted of copying schedules that don’t fit your real life

• You want to feel more in control without being rigid or perfect

Who This Is NOT For:

This challenge is NOT for you if:

• You already have a routine that’s working great

• You’re looking for a done-for-you schedule to copy exactly

• You want a magic fix that requires zero effort

• You’re not willing to spend 5 minutes a day for 5 days

Ready to Build a Routine That Actually Works?

Get the 5-Day Routine Challenge for $12

[Buy Now Button]

What You Get:

📋 A complete 5-day workbook (PDF format)
🎯 Daily 5-minute exercises that build on each other
📝 Reflection prompts and worksheets to guide you
✅ A custom morning routine by the end of the week

Total investment: $12
Total time commitment: 25 minutes (5 minutes per day for 5 days)

Why $12?

Because I believe you should invest in yourself, even if it’s small. Free challenges get downloaded and forgotten. When you pay (even just $12), you show up differently. You actually do the work.

And the work? That’s what creates the change.

Here’s What Happens After You Sign Up:

1. You’ll get instant access to download the 5-Day Routine Challenge workbook

2. Starting tomorrow (or whenever you’re ready), you spend 5 minutes on Day 1

3. Each day builds on the previous one

4. By Day 5, you have a morning routine designed specifically for your family

5. You start using it immediately and adjust as you go

Still have questions?

Q: What if I don’t have 5 days in a row to do this?
A: That’s totally fine! You can do Day 1 today, Day 2 next week, whatever works. The exercises build on each other, but there’s no deadline.

Q: What if I’ve tried routines before and they didn’t work?
A: That’s exactly why this works differently. Most routines fail because they’re built for someone else’s life. This challenge helps you build YOUR routine from scratch.

Q: What if my days are too chaotic for a routine?
A: Then you need this even more. The point isn’t to control every minute—it’s to create enough structure that the chaos doesn’t control you.

Q: Is this only for the morning?
A: The challenge focuses on building your morning routine because mornings set the tone for the entire day. Once you master mornings, you can apply the same process to other parts of your day.

You’re already here. That’s the hardest part.

Now let’s build something that actually works.

Yes I need this!

Sometimes I think about what I’d tell my younger self—the version of me who was about to become a stay-at-home mom for the first time.

What would I warn her about? What would I tell her to prepare for?

Since I can’t actually go back in time, I’m doing the next best thing: I’m telling you.

If you’re a new stay-at-home mom—or thinking about staying home—these are the three things I wish someone had explained to me 11 years ago. Not to scare you, but to give you the reality so you can set yourself up for success.

Because here’s the truth: being a stay-at-home mom is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever do. But it’s also one of the most rewarding journeys of self-discovery you’ll ever experience.

*This post contains affiliate links for products and services I recommend. If you sign up or make a purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only share resources I’ve personally used or researched. Thank you for supporting SAHM Playbook!*

1. I Thought It Would Be Like Babysitting (Spoiler: It’s Not)

Before I had kids, I was great with children. I babysat all the time. I was a camp counselor. I loved teaching kids new things and playing with them.

So naturally, I thought, “Being a stay-at-home mom will be easy. I’m good at this.”

But here’s what I didn’t think about: When you babysit, you’re with those kids for a few hours. Then they go home. You clock out. You get a break.

When you’re a stay-at-home mom? There’s no clocking out.

It’s not like babysitting. At all.

Our entire society is designed for people to work outside the home—not stay home with their kids. We’re not taught how to manage a household or care for small humans 24/7. So when you choose to stay home, you’re working against the grain.

What I Wish I’d Known: You Need Flexibility and a Solid Routine

Here’s what would have changed everything for me in those early years:

You need a routine to organize your time.

Not a rigid, hour-by-hour schedule that makes you feel like you’re always falling behind. But a simple, flexible routine that keeps your time intentional.

A good routine is the solid foundation that helps you stay grounded even on chaotic days.

Think about your strengths and weaknesses.

Are you a morning person? Do you work better with music playing? Do you need complete silence to focus? Are you naturally organized, or do you need systems to keep you on track?

By leaning on your strengths, you can design a routine that actually works with your personality instead of against it. And that makes all the difference in how you move through your day.

Learn to be patient with your time.

Everything takes longer with kids. That meal that used to take 30 minutes? It’s now an hour. That quick errand? Add 20 minutes for getting everyone in the car.

Once you accept this reality and build extra cushion into your expectations, you’ll stop feeling frustrated and start feeling more in control.

2. I Thought I’d Lost Myself (But I Was Actually Finding Myself)

A lot of moms say, “I lost myself when I stayed home.”

I used to think that too.

But after 11 years, I’ve realized something: We didn’t lose ourselves. We’re in the middle of self-discovery.

What’s Really Happening

Society tells us that our identity is tied to our career. Our job title. Our paycheck. Our professional accomplishments.

So when you come home and that job disappears, it feels like YOU disappeared.

But here’s the truth: That job was never your identity. It was just something you did.

Coming home forces you to face this reality. And at first, it feels like loss. But it’s actually an opportunity.

My Personal Example

I went to medical school for years. I wanted to be a doctor. Everyone knew “Desi’s going to be a doctor.” That was my whole identity—or so I thought.

Then I couldn’t finish for financial reasons. And then I got pregnant.

I felt like a complete failure.

But over time, I realized something powerful: My purpose is something that can never be separated from me. It’s the essence of who I am.

It doesn’t matter if I get a certain job title or not. It doesn’t matter if I achieve a specific career milestone. My purpose—who I am at my core—just is.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t about losing yourself. It’s about discovering who you are when you strip away all the external labels.

It’s about learning:

• What you value most

• What lights you up

• What drains you

• What you’re naturally good at

• What you want your life to actually look like

This journey isn’t easy. But it’s one of the most valuable things you’ll ever do.

And on the other side? You’ll know yourself in a way most people never do.

3. Relying on One Income Isn’t Wise (But Here’s What You Can Do)

Some people might not agree with this, but I wholeheartedly believe it’s not wise to rely on one source of income.

I don’t care if it’s the mom working and the dad staying home, or vice versa. This isn’t about gender roles. It’s about financial stability and protecting your family.

If everything is dependent on one source of income, and that source is suddenly removed—whether through job loss, injury, illness, divorce, or anything else—your whole family is stuck.

Yes, you can have savings. That’s great. But what if your spouse gets injured? What if they lose their job? What if the business has a bad year? What if the unexpected happens?

My Experience

My husband went from working outside the home to running his own business. And with a business, income goes up and down.

That inconsistency has caused so much stress in our household—because we only have one source of income.

People say, “Well, why don’t you just put your kids in school and get a job?”

But I still have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old at home. So I’d have to pay for daycare, which would eat up most of my income anyway. That doesn’t solve the problem.

I wish I had started building a second income stream before I had kids. Or at least when my kids were younger and I had a bit more flexibility.

But here’s the good news: It’s not too late. And you don’t have to do what I did.

You Don’t Need to Start from Scratch

You don’t have to start a whole new business from scratch like I’ve been trying to do for years.

But having something on the side—even small—can give you financial breathing room, reduce stress, and protect your family if something unexpected happens.

And it’s totally possible—depending on your skill level and available time.

My Advice: Start With What You Already Know

The easiest way to make extra income is to lean on skills you already have.

If you feel like you don’t have any “monetizable skills” yet? Don’t worry—that’s where I started too. You can learn so much from affordable sites like Udemy and Domestika (my personal favorites).

Real Options for Moms

Here are some realistic ways to earn extra income that can be done on weekends or during naptime:

Low-skill, flexible options:

• Surveys: Sites like Survey Junkie or Respondent

• Delivery/gig work: Instacart, DoorDash, Shipt (great for weekends)

Skill-based remote work:

• Freelancing (writing, design, virtual assistant work)

• Tutoring online

• Bookkeeping or admin work

Your options are pretty much endless, but I’d say stick to what you already know or what genuinely interests you.

I’ll be doing more posts in the future sharing my thoughts on specific side hustles and what’s realistic for stay-at-home moms.

The Bottom Line on Income

I’m not saying you need to become a full-time entrepreneur or work 40 hours a week from home.

I’m saying: If you’re a new stay-at-home mom with just one or two kids right now, you have time to set yourself up for the future.

Even earning an extra $200-500 a month can:

• Cover unexpected expenses

• Reduce financial stress

• Give you a safety net

• Let you contribute without sacrificing time with your kids

You don’t have to wait until you’re 11 years in like me to figure this out. You can start now.

The Bottom Line

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Let’s not sugarcoat it.

But it’s also an incredible opportunity to:

• Build a routine that reflects your values

• Discover who you truly are beyond your job title

• Actually be present with your baby during these fleeting early years

You don’t have to have it all figured out on day one. I’m still learning.

But if you start with these three truths, you’ll save yourself a lot of frustration and set yourself up for a life you actually enjoy, not just survive.

That’s what SAHM Playbook is all about: giving you the tools to build a stay-at-home mom life that works for YOU.